Steve! Wake Up! I've Found God!
by deadlydaisy8o8
Summary: This is a piece of fiction inspired by a picture I found on deviantArt. It is a continuation of a concept present in the picture. Nothing special, just a little humor. Enjoy!


AN:/ This is a short I wrote in honnor of a supper awesome piece of art on deviantArt that I found. If you are intersted, The link is here.

http:/ cheshirespider. deviantart. com/gallery/ ?offset=24# /d2ws81v

(Without spaces obviously.)

And don't get on me for grammar I know there is a ton of shit in it, I just wanted to write it for fun. It's not anything serious.

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><p><span>Steve! Wake Up! I Found God!<span>

by: deadlydaisy8o8

_Originally Uploaded: Sunday, March 18, 9:42PM_

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><p>"Steve! Wake up! I found GOD!" A small bat frantically pumped its wings as it flew back to its perch. He still could not believe what he had seen. Granted he couldn't' see very well, but there was no mistaking what was mow being projected in the sky. It could only be a sign. A divine message of some sort.<p>

"What the hell Marvin?" Steve, a bat older than Marvin, who was in such a tizzy, was slightly disgruntled. Night had only just fallen and he was still groggy.

"No, not hell, GOD, I tell you! It has to be a message from GOD! You have to come see!" Marvin had landed on a small rock outcrop bellow where Steve was roosting. Steve looked down to Marvin in annoyance.

"Marvin calm down, I'm sure you're just seeing things. Heaven knows your sight is worse than most. Now would you leave me in peace?" Marvin let out a shrill squeak of despair.

"Steve, I'm not seeing things. You have to come see. Please, at least tell me I'm not going crazy!" Steve sighed. It really was time for him to be getting up anyway.

"Fine, but when it's nothing I'm going to reserve the right to say I told you so and bring up this incident for years to come." Marvin could only click in excitement.

"Whatever, you just have to come see this!" Marvin didn't wait for Steve and started navigating his way out of the cave. Steve sighed before he too took flight and erratically started navigating his way around the stalactites and especially tall stalagmites that littered the cave. Steve almost dropped straight out of the air when he saw what Marvin had been talking about. It was hard to miss. Right there in the middle of the sky, projected onto a low flying cloud, was a picture of a bat. Marvin awkwardly flew over to his older comrade.

"See, I told you! I'm not going crazy! It has to mean something! We've never seen anything like this before." Steve found a branch to land on just outside the cave entrance and took up his perch there. Marvin was not far behind. Steve didn't necessarily hear his younger counterpart. He was thinking. It was obvious this was a sign, a call of some sort. Steve very abruptly made up his mind.

"We have to go see what it is. The light is coming from the ground, we should go see what is causing it." Steve, now excited about discovering what this strange sign could mean took off without waiting for Marvin, who stumbled off of the branch in his haste to follow but quickly caught himself.

It didn't take long for the bats to get to the center of the sprawling city that was Gotham. Big Brown Bats like Marvin and Steve could travel up to forty miles per hour. Both Marvin and Steve deflated when they saw only one of the humans' big skylights. The only difference was that there was a piece of metal blacking some of the light, creating the symbol in the sky.

Steve and Marvin had not been the only bats to see the symbol and come. Bats from miles around had flocked to the sight. All kinds of bats, little brown bats, grey bats, rafinesque's big-eared bats, silver haired bats, eastern red bats, Hoary bats, grey myotis bats, evening bats, the list went on. Conversation between all of the bats quickly picked up as Bats continued to arrive at the building, hiding themselves in the shadows of the ledges of different rooftops. All of this conversation was held in a frequency too high for humans to hear, so Commissioner Gordon was completely unaware he was the subject of the current gossip of perhaps hundreds of Bats as he stood and waited for the Bat he had intended to summon with his skylight. The chatter that only the bats could hear was as loud as that of a stadium at a popular high school football game. However nothing was happening and it didn't look like anything was _going _to happen. Steve was getting annoyed with this farce and wanted to go back to his roost so he could waste the night away, catching the odd betel or two.

"Marvin, I don't know what this human thinks he's doing but the sign in the sky is obviously his fault. It's not God, and God isn't going to show up. Maybe we should…" Steve and anyone else who had been speaking trailed off as God came swooping down silently from the shadows.

It was by far the biggest bat any of them had ever seen. Or perhaps he was a man, for he had arms and legs like that of a man, but he had the ears wings and color of a bat. They all paid rapt attention as the Batman spoke.

"I should have expected something like this from you." The Batman's voice was deep and soothing. It had a calming affect on the bats that had them all relaxing slightly in awe. All bats could speak in a higher register, but it was very rare to find a bat that was capable of such low tones. Bats with the capability of lower voices were prized and sought after, as special. Never, however, had any of them heard a bat speak in such a low smooth register.

"It worked didn't it?" The all the bats in the area tensed in anticipation as Commissioner Gordon moved toward the Batman. They didn't know what was going to happen, but they knew that humans were dangerous and they did not know what to do if this human decided to attack the Batman. However Gordon had no such intention. He merely handed the Batman a folder of some sort. The Batman spoke once more.

"More break in's?" Gordon nodded as Batman flipped through the contents of the folder.

"I wouldn't bother you with it, but I've seen some similarities in the style. My guys can't find a trace of this guy. I was hopping you might have more luck." The Batman shut the folder abruptly before handing it back to Gordon.

"I'll look into it, anything else?" Gordon looked down to the folder and started to speak.

"Nothing that I would really…"But by the time Gordon looked up the Batman was gone. As soon as the first syllables of nothing had passed Gordon's lips Batman was running towards the edge of the roof. He leaped off and fell several meters before a grappling hook was shot and hooked onto the ledge of a building nearby and the Batman was swooping through the air.

Instantly the bats that had been hiding in the shadows reacted. They flew every which way, trying their best to follow the batman. Gordon let out a yelp and stumbled as the bats revealed themselves.

In the chaos of it all the bats lost the batman to the shadows and the speed of the bat mobile. Groups of bats landed on rooftops in distress. Steve and Marvin found a gargoyle to land on themselves. Marvin was in near hysterics.

"Did you see him Steve? Did you? It was God! The Messiah! Where did he go? Do you think he'll ever be back? What was he doing with the humans?" Steve was still mostly dumbstruck with what he had just witnessed.

"I don't know Marvin. But we'll figure it out. It seemed like he was pretty familiar with the human on the roof. Maybe this wasn't his first visit. We'll have to find him Marvin. I don't' know what were going to do once we have. But he's obviously important." Marvin was nearly seizing with excitement. He nearly fell off the gargoyles head several times. Steve finally seemed to get a hold of himself.

"C'mon Marvin, there isn't anything we can do now. Let's go back to the cave and we'll see what happens tomorrow." Marvin deflated slightly at the fact that they wouldn't' be able to do anything now.

Several days passed and nothing happened. Word of the appearance of the Batman spread through the bat community like wildfire. Everyone was now on the lookout for the infamous Batman. They were all convinced he was some higher power sent to guide them. The bats set up lookouts and patrols. They sent their fastest and best hunters out for the job. And one day, three weeks form the initial sighting; a bat named Betty came barreling into Steve and Marvin's little outcrop. She was panting heavily but only said one thing before she was speeding back out of the rock formation.

"We've found him."

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><p>Alfred sighed as he made his way over to the piano, a tray of water and cracker in his hand. It looked like Bruce was settling in for a long night, once again. He hadn't come up to the mansion, so it would be Alfred's job to make sure Bruce stayed fed and watered. Alfred took the elevator down and immediately halted when the elevator doors opened.<p>

The noise was immense as the sound of thousands of bats screeching clicking and squeaking filled the air. The bats were everywhere, absolutely covering the ceiling of the cave, not a speck of rock was left as a blanket of the flying mammals covered the ceiling. Alfred had to wonder where all the bats had come from. A small colony of bats had always inhabited the cave, but never in all his years had he seen the cave so full. The construction Bruce had done to build the bat cave into his base of operations had largely driven all the bats off, why they had decided to come back and in such immense numbers was beyond Alfred.

In the center of it all was Batman, who had not bothered to change out of his cape and cowl, sitting at the bat computer, diligently trying to ignore the noise. It was obvious by his clenching jaw that he was largely unsuccessful. Alfred walked over towards Bruce very aware that the man was on edge and spoke loudly to try to be heard over the noise.

"Perhaps a snack Master Wayne?" Batman merely grumbled something that Alfred didn't catch.

"Pardon me master Wayne?" Batman slammed his fist down on the table and spun around in his chair. He stood up and shouted at the ceiling.

"BE QUITE!" instantly all of the noise stopped. All of the bats became still, besides the few that were startled and fell from their roosts, quickly catching themselves before they hit the floor. Bruce's eyebrows shot up at the reaction the animals had had to his shout. He had expected the noise to explode even further and for the bats to scatter in panic at the sudden noise, not to obey his command. Batman looked suspiciously up at the mammals. Alfred too looked perplexed by their behavior. Alfred, however, seemed to notice something more.

"Master Wayne, do they allappear to be _looking_ at you, by chance?" Batman's eyes narrowed when he noticed that indeed, all of the bats were _looking at him. _None of their eyes wavered, none of them moved. Batman had sat in his cave and hadn't minded as the bats seemed to come into his cave at first, but the flow of incoming bats did not stop and slowly the noise had gotten louder and louder and the bats still hadn't stopped coming. Every once in a while, a group would fly through a crevasse that connected to a tunnel that leads to the surface. Bruce had been confused with the behavior but hadn't thought much of it, now however…

"Alfred, do you know if there is a species of bats are supposed to behave like this?" Alfred shook his head.

"You are more knowledgeable on the subject than I am Master Wayne. You're guess would be better than mine." Batman grunted noncommittally and slowly sat back down. Still none of the bats moved they did not even make so much as a single chirp. Batman eyed the bats carefully as he slowly went back to his computer, glancing every few seconds up to the ceiling at the bats, which had started to move around once more, but didn't make so much as a single peep.

Alfred glanced amusedly up at the mammals that seemed to be giving Bruce a case of paranoia. Though Alfred didn't see that there was anything to worry about. They were just bats after all. The most he would have to worry about was clean up. And strangely enough, they didn't seem to be leaving any 'presents' in the cave in the first place. It was perfectly fine with Alfred, as long it stayed that way. Alfred left his charge to brood.

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><p>"The Batman isn't going to want any disgusting little bugs! He's obviously part human, and do you see humans going around and eating bugs? No you don't! You see them killing them at any chance they can get, but not eating them! The Batman would much rather like some fruit! It's much tastier and he will be much more satisfied! And humans are picking flowers and shoving them in their faces all the time. It's only bugs that we could go wrong with." The batman had gone for the day, as he only came to the cave at night. They had designated a system of bats to follow their leader around all day and they knew that during the day the Batman changed into a man that went a lot of places in car that really was too long, and during the night, he transformed into a bat, and came down to the cave and worked at the glowing box.<p>

"But he's obviously part bat! He will appreciate the bugs just as much as the fruit and flowers! There is no reason we can't get him bugs as well!" the cave broke out again into frantic chirping and clicking before it died down once again.

"We do not want to anger him again! Why take the chance?" that made everyone take pause. Yes they did not want to anger their Batman again. That had been terrifying. He had shouted in that low voice and that had made the ordeal so much worse. Everyone knew now that the Batman did not like loud noises. When the Batman was around everyone only spoke when necessary and kept their flying around to a minimum. So far the Batman had not gotten mad again, but the bats still thought it necessary to do something to redeem themselves.

"Okay let's just do flowers and fruits."

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><p>"Marvin would you hurry up god damit! He's probably already back by now!" Steve was particularly annoyed with his young friends stupidity at the moment. After the debate on what they would be offering was settled, the few fruit bats had taught all of the insectivores how to tell good fruit from bad fruit, and the pollen eating bats had taught how to pick a good flower before everyone had left the cave in search of something to bring back for the Batman.<p>

Steve had gone and found a nice pair of white flowers. He wasn't sure that they were good, but they looked like the pollen eaters had described. He had carefully gnawed the flower off by the stem and carried them in his feet as he flew. Marvin however had had different plans altogether.

"Try-_puff_-trying to _puff _as fast as _puff puff puff._" Marvin in all his wisdom had decided to find and apple for the batman. Never mind that the fruit bats had pointed them towards things like oranges and plums, Marvin wanted a goddamn apple. An apple that was extremely heavy for the bat and was very hard to keep a hold of.

"Marvin just shut up and concentrate! We're almost there." All that answered Steve was the sound of Marvin's heavy breathing and his wings pumping frantically as they made their way towards the entrance to the Batman's cave.

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><p>"Alfred what the hell are all of these fruits and flowers doing on my computer!" the Batman was not amused. He had just finished his workday and was making his way to the cave to start his patrol when he discovered the pile of fruits and weeds on his computer. It was absolutely covered. He had immediately summoned Alfred because surely this was some sort of joke. Bruce had done a lot of research on bats and did not miss that a majority of what was currently making the keys to his computer sticky were fruits and flowers that bats liked to eat. Yes, Bruce knew that since he had started up this whole vigilante thing he wasn't eating as much, but really this was going over the line.<p>

"Why Master Bruce I'm afraid that I… Oh dear." There was a barely restrained laugh in Alfred's voice as he spotted the rather large pile of fruit and flowers that covered the computer Batman needed to do his work. Bruce sighed, not able to stay mad at the man who had practically raised him.

"Alfred was this really necessary? I know you think I'm not eating enough, but really you could have told me so without ruining my computer." Alfred merely shook his head.

"I assure you it was not I Master Wayne. Though I do agree with their sentiments." Bruce's eyes narrowed. If it wasn't Alfred then that meant someone had discovered the bat cave. This could not be good. If someone had…

Suddenly there was a flurry of movement. Two bats came swooping down front eh crevice in the ceiling that the bats used to go in and out of the cave. The first bat was really moving and quickly deposited it's load on the pile that had accumulated and quickly took its place on the ceiling. The second bat however was a different story.

The bat screeched as it did something of a controlled fall towards Batman. It landed with a 'thud' on a bare section of counter as it dropped its load and flopped over to the side, obviously panting heavily, Batman could even hear it wheezing slightly. Batman and Alfred simply stared at the bat.

"Well this is rather interesting." Alfred was smirking as it was now increasingly obvious where all of the organic treats had come from. Batman growled. Batman was also very easily putting together the pieces but was hesitant to believe it. It was just impossible.

"Interesting Alfred?" Alfred only smiled.

"Well, yes. I do find it rather interesting that a swarm of bats has felt the need to feed you and take residence in your cave. It seems I will finally have some help in getting something into that stomach of yours." Batman's eyes were still on the apple and the bat that had collapsed beside it. Its chest was still heaving but beside that it had not moved. Frankly Batman did not want a bat to die on his Bat-desk. Batman slowly went to approach the tired animal. As soon as batman got close the animal started to twitch it what he guessed would have been a frantic manner had the bat had more energy. Batman stopped all movement. In response the bat lessened it's efforts to get up slightly. In retrospect, batman would feel slightly ridiculous, speaking to an animal, a bat no less, like this, but he just wanted to make sure the bat didn't give itself a heart attack, or die of exhaustion.

"Relax I am not going to hurt you. I only want to help." The bat stopped squirming and crooked its head to watch, fearfully as batman approached. Batman and the bat locked gazes and slowly the Batman was allowed to approach. Even slower, Batman extended his hand towards the exhausted animal to pick him up. The bat did not resist as Batman carefully folded the bats wings and cradled it in his palm. Quickly batman snatched the apple off the table and put it in his pocket. Batman held the animal against his chest, staring at it. Suddenly he spoke, still not taking his eyes of the small mammal in his hand.

"Alfred do we have a small dish of water somewhere?" Alfred was already on his way to the small kitchen at the other end of the bat cave.

"I'm positive I can come up with something Master Wayne, simply give me a moment." Batman nodded still not taking his eyes of off the bat in his hands. With careful smooth steps that wouldn't jostle the bat in his hand, Batman went to back over to his chair. He pulled it away from the pile of 'offerings' and towards a clear section of his workspace. He sat down and placed the bat carefully on to the hard surface. The bat stared at batman from where it had been laid down, and Batman stared right back, studying it, identifying it. Suddenly the batman spoke.

"You are a Big Brown Bat, an _Eptesicus fuscus._ You do not eat fruit; you eat insects like mosquitoes, wasps, and beetles. How were you even able to carry something like and apple? Or am I mistaken? Are you some type of fruit bat and this was your evening meal?" Batman took the apple out of his pocket and set it next to the bat on the counter. The bat pulled itself up slightly and made a few clicks, but it didn't do anything further. When batman did nothing the bat went and nudged the apple a small ways towards Batman before it slid to the counter in exhaustion. Batman picked up the apple, Looking between it and the bat. When the bat made a few happy sounding clicks batman put the apple in his pocket.

"This was the best I could come up with for the poor animal, Master Wayne." Batman turned to see Alfred beaming away holding a small tea saucer filled with water that was about room temperature. Batman took the saucer, careful not to spill any and set it next to the bat on the counter. Both Alfred and Batman watched as the Bat made no move towards the water, but only stared at Batman. Alfred could not keep the smug tone from his voice.

"I believe it is waiting for your permission, if I may say so Master Wayne." Batman glared at Alfred but sighed as he turned back to the small animal. His voice was more of a growl when it came out.

"Drink the water. It's for you. I don't know why you decided to carry an _apple_ here from who knows where, but your going to pass out, if not die, if you don't do something about it. And I will not have you die in front of me. Drink." The small bat chirped before it hauled itself to the water dish and drank with its small tongue eagerly. Batman leaned back in his chair and let out a long breath. He looked over to the pile of 'offerings' for despite his better judgment that is what he knew they were, before he looked up to the ceiling of eerily silent bats. Every single one of them was looking at him.

"Alfred what the hell is going on?" Alfred chuckled.

"Pardon me Master Wayne, but I thought that would be increasingly obvious." Batman turned to look to the man he trust more than anyone.

"What is obvious about it?" Alfred smiled.

"Well, you are the 'Batman' are you not?" Batman narrowed his eyes.

"What are you suggesting Alfred? That these bats are somehow flocking to me because they think I'm their 'leader' or some such nonsense? Nothing like this has ever been recorded as regular behavior for the species." Alfred was right back at his young ward.

"Forgive me, but I do not believe a man has ever costumed himself as a bat to fight crime before this point either." Batman growled before he stood up out of his chair and went back over to examine the pile of fruits and flowers that covered his computer. He looked from the pile to the creatures that taken residence on the ceiling.

"What am I supposed to do about it?" Alfred considered for a moment as he too stood and looked over the pile of offerings.

"Well I suppose it would behoove us to make a few accommodations for the animals. Perhaps a proper roost on the ceiling, or a fountain of water? They have seemed to fair on their own relatively well the past few days. And they have kept the cave clean and free of bugs. I see no reason to drive them away." Batman set down the small yellow flower he had picked up and looked to the ceiling.

"What if they continue to bring me these things? What if their numbers increase? What am I supposed to do with them?" Alfred had now walked in front of Bruce and was separating all of the fruits and flowers into groups.

"Well, they do seem to understand you to some degree. They have not made near so much noise since your little outburst, and the bat on the counter seemed rather cooperative. Perhaps you could simply address the problem directly and things would solve themselves. As to what you are to do with them. They seem particularly content as they are. I wouldn't think too much about this Master Wayne. What happens will happen. For now I think you've simply acquired a large amount of company." Alfred had finished separating out all of the fruits into groups and he turned to Batman. "I will need some containers for all of this, I shall be back in a moment. Master Wayne." Alfred bowed his head slightly with a smirk before he walked back towards the elevator that would take him back up to the mansion. As soon as Alfred was gone Batman turned his attention to the ceiling. He stared for a moment before he narrowed his eyes. He had to be losing it. There was no way that a colony of bats were following him because they thought he was some sort of bat-leader. But no matter how much Bruce wanted to deny it, Alfred was right. The bats did seem to listen to him and he didn't want to come to the bat cave every night to a pile of sticky fruit and wilted flowers. He was alone for the moment, he could do this, its not like there was anyone around to see. He stood in the corner beside his bat mobile as he addressed the ceiling.

"If you're going to bring your food in here, don't put it on my things. I don't need you're food, so keep it to yourselves." Batman went over to the bat mobile and swung himself into the drivers seat. Just as he was about to close the door he hesitated and looked back to the ceiling.

"Thanks." Batman quickly slammed the door shut and was peeling out of the bat-cave, ready to go reassert his masculinity and perhaps find comfort in the fact that comparatively he was not as insane as the rest of Gotham.

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><p>Things leveled out for about three months. The bats were confused upon Batman's reaction to their offerings. It seemed he didn't understand why they had put all of the food there and had been frustrated by it, but he had still said thank you all the same. Only he had requested that they not give any food to him. A few bats speculated that perhaps they had insulted the Batman by insinuating that he could not feed himself, like a pup. This came to be the largely accepted explanation for why the Batman had not liked the offering. So no more food was brought to the Bat cave, besides the occasional apple that would appear beside the bat-computer. Bruce would eye the ceiling suspiciously before he ate the apple and threw the core away.<p>

Marvin had enjoyed a celebrity status for a short while, as he had been touched and handled by the Batman, and even given water for his offering. Instead of being hailed as supremely stupid for bringing the Batman an apple of all things, he was praised. The apple had been the only fruit that the Batman had taken from their offerings, after all.

It wasn't long before it became clear to the bats that the Batman did not think of himself as a leader at all. The bats respected and followed him as a leader anyway, because despite his own disbelief in his status, the batman had taken care of the bats.

Batman, who had been coaxed by Alfred, did indeed modify the ceiling of the bat cave to be more conducive to the bats roosting there. He built an ordered structure of wooden beams and dowels for the bats to hang from. The cave could now house more than ten thousand bats. Of course more bats had come to fill the vacancies when they had become available. He had put in place several heating coils to keep the bats warm through the winter, enlarged the entrance that the bats used to get in an out of the cave, and had installed a large fountain where the bats could go to drink fresh clean water.

Batman, however, refused to provide a food source for the bats. He was not keeping them as pets, as he always insisted, he was facilitating their stay here in the cave. Bruce justified this to himself by saying that he had probably invaded their home in the first place. So it was only right that he compensate by making the cave habitable despite his presence there.

Time went on and mostly the bats kept to themselves as they watched over their leader. They realized their leaders goal in catching certain humans and watched, as he got hurt in the process. They didn't understand what he was doing, but didn't really feel comfortable questioning him in the first place. When the bats saw their Batman come back to the cave bloody and beaten it forced the colony of bats to make a few decisions. The Batman's state of health made several of the bats afraid and more than a few of them furious in outrage. It was decided that they had the bat-power to organize a fleet of watch-bats to look over their leader and follow him wherever he went. As well as organized squadrons of bats that would take up permanent posts throughout the city. And of course, apples were always more likely to show up if Batman happened to be injured in some way.

The bats weren't able to do much more than make sure Batman made it back to the cave. For the most part Batman seemed to be able to handle himself and it was a rare thing for the Batman to reveal he had even been injured until he got back to the cave. Still the bats didn't give up. The bats kept vigil over their leader and followed him everywhere. They used their spare time to devise dive-bombing strategies that could perhaps help their Batman in a fight, or at least distract the enemy. Though they did not get to use these strategies as their Batman always won in a fight. Until one night when the bats would finally get to be of use.

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><p>The Batman was very aware of the bats that followed him everywhere. He was currently beneath about one hundred and twenty of them. They clung to the rafters and were perfectly silent, not giving his position away. Which was good because he would have had to do something about the bat problem if they made themselves a nuisance, and the Batman honestly did not know how he was going to get the suborn little rats to leave him alone if that became the case.<p>

It seemed the warehouse was home to about a hundred or so bats already, in addition to the ones that followed him, and it had not taken long for the forces to combine and roost above him as he sat in the shadows. Tonight a major drug deal was going down in this precise abandon warehouse. There were fifty or so men, twenty-five on each side as the drugs were being moved from one truck to another. There was low murmuring as the men grunted and talked with one another. Batman waited until after the cash was passed to make his move.

As usual the Dark Knights first strike was a debilitating one as he struck from the shadows. One man was already down and the fight wasn't even started. As soon as the thugs caught sight of Batman they erupted into pandemonium. Batman took cover as he was shot at. He pulled a canister of knock out gas out of his belt and chucked it over the shipping crate he had hidden behind. This is where things went horribly wrong. While the batman waited the required ten seconds for the gas to deploy several things happened. A thug spotted the gas canister and instead of standing there like an idiot, or running away he did something completely unexpected. He picked up the canister and chucked it as hard as he could through one of the smashed out windows of the old building.

When Batman leaped out from behind his shelter he did not find that thirty or so of the men had been knocked out, and the remaining twenty were running out of ammo, he found fifty pissed off thugs, who were running out of ammo, but combine could make him look like swiss cheese. Quickly calculating his best shot batman charged and threw himself in to the midst of the thugs, deterring them from using the rest of their fire so they couldn't' hit one another. The thugs realized what Batman was doing, but abandon their guns anyway. They swarmed the Batman, hoping that numbers would give them the advantage.

Batman was using all of his skill and speed to take on all fifty men at once. But the shear mass and presence of all of the bodies was making it hard to maneuver as all of the thugs insisted on getting incredibly close to the Dark Knight, regardless of their own safety. Slowly Batman was losing steam. He could never get a good enough punch to knock out any permanently, and it seemed nobody was staying down. It was when Batman disappeared underneath a pile of bodies that things started to turn around.

Screeching, hissing and clicking erupted in the warehouse as all hundred and twenty bats dove at top speed toward the dog pile. The sudden high pitch noise alone made several of the thugs step away and clutch their ears, those that didn't were relentlessly bitten and scratched as bats latched onto their faces and held on as they flailed around in frustration. The bats proved to be the distraction that Batman needed. Nearly all of the thugs were preoccupied with the small pests that skillfully avoided their flailing hands and continued to bite and scrape at their exposed flesh.

Batman was able to get up and take out the thugs one by one only spending seconds on each as the bats provided the distraction. As soon as a man was down the bats that had been pestering him would join their comrades on another man. Soon there was only one thug left and he was being absolutely assaulted by the little mammals. Batman only had to watch as the bats swooped around the man and systematically attacked him in a kamikaze like fashion, until the man simply could no longer take it and ran screaming bloody murder out of the warehouse. The bats subsided their attack and stopped their screeching. The landed around the batman on various handrails and open crates and watched as Batman tied up the thugs. Batman had about twenty of them tied up when he started to notice the distressed squeaks that would only sound once every few seconds. He zeroed in on a squeak from nearby. More specifically from underneath a man's arm. Batman quickly swooped over to the noise to investigate. There he found a small bat struggling to free itself from underneath the weight of the man's fleshy appendage, with clearly no success. The bat's wing was obviously broken and being made worse by the fuss it was putting up.

"Stop." The bat obeyed the command and the Batman did not hesitate as he reached over and freed the bat from underneath the unconscious man's arm. The bat tried to flap his wings and get away, but this only resulted in a shriek of pain.

"Hold still." The bat obeyed once more. It was bleeding from somewhere, as there was a small smear of blood that had was being spread around beneath the bat on the concrete. Batman struggled with what to do. He could not just leave the animal here. It had clearly been a part of his success here. Only a few seconds passed before more squeaks of distress came to Batman's attention. He sighed and slowly reached towards the bat, deciding on a plan of action that he hoped would work. Trying his best not to jostle the small creature he picked it up. He earned a shriek of pain for his efforts. He said nothing but carefully picked up the bat and held him upside-down close to the line of fabric that showed between his breastplate and the armor that covered his collarbone.

"Grab on, and do not let go." The bat once more did as it was told and it's feet locked into the Kevlar fabric ad he hung there against batman's chest. As smoothly was possible Batman stood and collected the injured bats that littered the field of unconscious thugs. There were twelve in all that hung side by side across batman's chest, injured and unable to fly in some way. Quickly and with as little movement as possible Batman finished tying up the thugs that still remained before he moved as smoothly as possible to back to the bat mobile, bats still hanging from his chest. Batman wrapped his cloak around himself, protecting the small animals from the cold night air.

He got into the bat mobile and was not at all surprised by the small flock of bats that flew out of the warehouse. He knew exactly where they were headed. Batman, avoided all potholes and large cracks as he drove and made it back to the bat cave. He pulled in to the cave and turned the bat mobile off. Alfred was waiting for him medical supplies and all. Batman, embarrassed, kept his cloak over his chest until he was standing directly before Alfred and the medical table.

"Do you know how to mend a bat, Alfred?" Alfred looked at Bruce confused.

"I'm fairly certain I can attend to whatever injuries you posses, Master Wayne." Batman moved his cloak subtly aside.

"That's not what I was talking about." Alfred smiled at the bats hanging from Bruce before he frowned and realized that they were injured. Batman had already taken the soft white towel Alfred had prepared and laid it on the table to use as some sort of bedding.

"Master Wayne?" Batman slowly began coaxing the bats from his chest to the towel. He earned several wheezes and squeaks for his efforts.

"They swarmed a group of thugs when they perceived I was in danger, Alfred." Alfred started for a moment before examining the small animals that had been laid on the table; all of them were completely docile, and clearly exhausted. Alfred looked sadly from the bats to Bruce, who had taken out a small bottle of water and was currently doing his best clean up the blood from torn wing. Batman had thought of using the antiseptic, but he didn't' know how the chemicals would react with the bat so he decided against. Batman carefully placed two Band-Aids, one on either side of the wing, before he gave the bat a small pet on the head and moved to the next, this one's wing was broken and the bone was sticking through the skin.

"Do you think shishkabob sticks would work as a splint Alfred?" Alfred frowned and moved towards the kitchen area while Bruce wished he could give the bat a drop or two of morphine. It looked on the verge of death as it was.

"I think that would do rather nicely, I shall retrieve some." Bruce grunted before he carefully touched the small animal, not on the wing, but he stroked the soft chest, in an effort to sooth the poor animal. It seemed in a haze and only wheezed out of its nose.

Batman continued in this manner. Occasionally he would speak in low tones to the bats, as his voice seemed to calm them. Eventually all of the bats were put into shoeboxes lined with towels and wrapped in washcloths. And put in a dark place to sleep, with easy access to water. Bruce would see about getting food later. Batman collapsed into his chair and removed his cowl, massaging his temples.

"Master Wayne?" Alfred put a hand on Bruce's shoulder, causing Bruce to sigh.

"They were affective." Alfred quirked an eyebrow.

"Pardon?" Batman shifted and looked up to his butler.

"They had an obvious strategy. They were an affective distraction. It would have been flawless if not for the casualties. And they did it all on their own. These are not normal bats Alfred." Batman looked up to the ceiling, " I can't pretend anymore. These bats are following me everywhere on patrol, they do everything I tell them to, as if they understand me, they came to my defense when it appeared as if the chips were down. I can't ignore the bats anymore Alfred. They were willing to die because of me." Batman's gaze drifted to where a black sheet had been propped up over a cluster of shoeboxes. Alfred looked curiously to his ward.

"What do you plan to do Master Wayne?" Batman simply stared off into space for a long moment before he opened his mouth.

"I'm going to train them."

* * *

><p>And that was exactly what Batman did. Now that he had admitted to himself that the Bat's could and would understand him when he spoke he did not hesitate to issue commands. He asked them to separate in groups according to speed, size, strength, and agility. He asked them to separate based on who was willing to fight and who wanted to stay behind.<p>

When Bruce asked this the bats didn't separate at all.

Batman created an obstacle course for the bats, that would improve their speed and endurance that would teach them to dodge and evade. He taught them to fly in patterns and in controlled chaos. He taught them to identify civilians, from threats. He taught them to disable gunman with a bite to the hand.

He told them that under no circumstance were they to sacrifice themselves for him in any way.

He taught them to leave no bat behind, that if they saw one of their comrades injured and unable to fly that they were carry him to Batman, who had sewn a long line of small metal hoops for the bats to hang off of in the Kevlar of his suit.

He constructed over ten thousand signal devices that would fit around the ankles of the bats. He told them to come to him if the band ever broke or fell off. He methodically, carefully, put the small bands onto the bats and told them of what it would do. That the small red light would illuminate when he had need of them. That He had a high frequency sound wave emitter and when he pushed the button the bands on their feet would light up and the bats were to head towards the sound of the emitter. That when they arrived, they were to be able to identify a pattern of clicks that he would make with the emitter, to know what to do.

Batman constructed different frequencies so that he could summon specific bats with each frequency. Batman could summon merely one hundred of his fastest bats, or the whole ten thousand.

It worked.

Batman rarely used his media patented, "Bat Swarm" but when he did it was extremely effective. There were always a few injuries, but the bats remembered what he taught them and brought their comrades to him to be tended. Batman took care of the bats and the bats took care of him. They brought him fruit, especially apples, on the nights that he stayed up and never went to bed. On the rare occasion that Batman fell asleep at his computer he would always wake to the soft chirping of a small group of bats on his keyboard. They kept all of the bugs away from the cave and the grounds of the Mansion. They kept the cave clean and bug free, while Bruce allowed them to live there and provided them with water and medical attention when necessary.

The Batman and the bats lived well for a number of years and the bats became more and more loyal to their batman. Several of them would gladly die for their master, but did not, on a count of that he had told them not to. They trusted batman to call them when they were needed and not a second later.

Until one day Batman didn't call his back up until it was too late.

* * *

><p>"HAHAHA! I've got you now Betsy! I've finally got you! Oh what to do, what to do? You know I've worked towards this moment for years but I've never actually thought of what I would do afterwards. You wouldn't happen to have any suggestions would you?" The Joker looked over to the bloody, beaten, and unconscious Batman that had been tied up and gagged in the corner or the room. The joker brought his hand to his ear.<p>

"What, no ideas? Well it's a good idea I have quite the imagination then. I think first well take off that awful mask. Really it isn't doing anything for your complexion." The joker laughed and wiggled his fingers as he went to take off the mask.

"YAAAAAAAOW!" The Joker slumped to the ground. His hair fried and his clothes singed, having just been thoroughly electrocuted. The Joker groaned before he shook it off and got back to his feet.

"All you had to do was say something… Really that was a tad unnecessary." The joker examined his captive for a moment before his face lit up.

"Well, if I can't take off your mask I might as well get to play with your toys! You did seem to have an endless supply of them and I've been just itching to try a few. You and me are alike that way you know. With the toys." The Joker chuckled darkly and went to hesitantly touch the Batman's belt. When it didn't' shock him he easily took it off and giddily pranced over to a table to set down.

"Now let's see here… seen it, seen it, heard about it, seen it, seen it, smelled it, oh this one was bad." The Joker grimaced in disgust at the knockout gas and threw it carelessly over his shoulder where several other things had already exploded or released some sort of gas after being subjected to the same treatment.

"O-ooo! What do we have here?" The Joker pulled out a small black box with several different colored buttons on it. It almost looked like a remote of some sort. "What does this do?" The Joker eagerly pressed a random button. Much to his disappointment nothing happened. He growled and pushed the button rapidly. He tried other buttons but those didn't work either.

"Stupid buttons. I bet they don't do anything on purpose. I wouldn't put it past the bat to put this in his belt just to mess with me. I wonder if… What is that sound?" The Joker paused as the sound of rustling caught his attention with a faint screeching. He narrowed his eyes for a moment before they widened.

"Oh no." The glass in the abandon basement the Joker was using burst inwards as bats poured through the windows. They kept coming and coming and coming. All of them extremely confused because they had not recognized the pattern that had been sent out. They came anyway and identified the threat easily. The bats did not know why all of them had been signaled to attack a single man but they didn't question the Batman's orders. So they proceeded to attack. And attack and keep attacking because they were not given the signal to stop and head back home.

The Joker screamed as thousands of bats came at him, biting and scratching him. He tried to get away but he couldn't' see through the swarm that surrounded him. Sharp little teeth slowly tore off his clothes and his bare back and chest were exposed. He was bitten over and over and over and eventually his skin was red with the blood being spilled and he started to feel dizzy until he finally passed out from blood loss as his skin was bitten to the point of resembling a sieve.

When the joker went down and stopped moving the bats all stopped and wondered what to do. They had been trained to stop once an enemy was down. It was then that the body of the batman was noticed in the corner. They stopped their chatter and waited for the batman to say something, they waited for him to move, to open his eyes. He didn't do any of these things, and that was when the bats started to panic. They flew to their master and nudged him on the cheek and the hand. They gnawed at the ropes that constrained batman until he was free and he slumped to the floor. This only caused the bats to panic even more. Chatter picked up. And every one was talking at once. Their batman was hurt, very very hurt.

Their batman was hurt.

It was Steve and Marvin who started to tug at the batman first.  
>"Come on!" Steve said as he griped the fabric of the batman's cape with his feet. "We have to get him to the cave. The Human, he will heal the Batman!" Marvin gripped equally as hard and flapped his wings.<p>

"Everybody grab on and pull. We can bring him back!" Things went relatively quickly from there. So many bats had clutched onto batman in some way that they scarcely had room to beat their wings. But it was enough, just barely, to get the Batman airborne. Slowly Batman was lifted out of the abandon basement and out into the street. Traffic stopped and people watched as the largest swarm of bats anyone had ever seen, slowly carried the batman and flew him above their heads higher and higher a farther and farther.

Everyone knew what would be on the front page the next morning.

Eventually they made it back to the cave. They screeched as loudly as they could to get the butlers attention and finally he came down and saw the unconscious body of the Batman on the medical table.

Batman woke up and was confused as to why he was in the bat cave, and where his utility belt was. All he remembered was being knocked out.

He found out when Alfred showed him the front-page paper.

From then on Batman decided that providing food for the bats every once in while wouldn't be such a hassle.


End file.
